So, I'm trying to quit smoking. Again. This time, I’ve been prescribed Chantix, and let me tell you, when they say "vivid dreams" are a side effect, they are not kidding. I’ve had some wild dreams, but the one I’m about to share takes the cake. Buckle up.
In this dream, I was rehearsing for a play, which isn’t all that unusual for me. But here’s the kicker: my dear friend Lucy Roucis was there. Lucy, who passed away a few years ago. Except, in the dream, it was five days before she was supposed to die, and somehow, I knew she was going to die. Like I had this inside scoop from the universe. Part of me thought, “Should I tell her?” But then I decided, “No, I don’t want to upset her or take away from the time we had left together.” Dreams don’t always make sense. Because let’s be real, if I actually knew my friend was about to pass away, I’d be out here pulling every miracle card I could find to keep her around. But in Dreamland? Nope, I just rolled with it.
We spent the dream hanging out like we used to, with me happily driving her to and from rehearsals. I always enjoyed those drives with Lucy. And, of course, Lucy was in full form—cracking jokes, being her usual witty, hilarious self, telling stories that had me laughing until my sides hurt. And she’d offer her signature acting coaching, throwing out brilliant ideas that made me think, “Why didn’t I come up with that?” Lucy had this way of turning every conversation into a masterclass in creativity. We even decided to write a play together, because apparently, my subconscious thinks I need more creative projects.
Now, this dream-play was a mash-up of Cabaret and A Chorus Line (because obviously, that combo totally makes sense in dream logic) and it was all about the intertwined lives of PHAMALY actors, all with disabilities, auditioning for a show. Honestly, it sounds like a smash hit, and I blame this idea entirely on me binge-watching PHAMALY Portrait on YouTube. Lucy wrote it with our friend David Fox over 20 years ago, but in the dream, we were going to top it with something bigger, better, and Broadway-bound.
As I drifted through the dream, I kept thinking about all the incredible people who’ve crossed the PHAMALY stage over the years. Like Jamie Weathers, who was absolutely convinced she could turn Troy Willis straight—God bless her determination. She even wrote a beautiful poem about him called something like "The Bird with the Broken Wing," all about two people with disabilities lifting each other up. I wish I could find it, but for now, it lives in the dream archives. Then there was the on-again, off-again romance between Mark Dissette and Devry Leeds, which could’ve been its own soap opera. Sadly, both Jamie and Devry have since passed away, but they didn’t make an appearance in this dream. Lucy had the spotlight.
Throughout the dream, I kept hugging Lucy, knowing I was going to lose her all over again. But honestly, I was just so grateful for this vivid, almost-too-real chance to be with her one more time. Who knew quitting smoking would come with a reunion tour?
Chantix dreams, man. What a trip.
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